Every day, millions of gamers play online RPGs. And every day, their rich fantasy lives are shattered by an all-too-common problem: Dumb names.
Hi, Lunaea. Thanks for the effort.
You’ve seen it in your MMO of choice, I’m sure: The guy at the auction house named Spydormann. The female mage named Magicwitch. A dude LFG named WellHung. A hired killer named HiredKiller. These people have made the commitment to immerse themselves in a world crammed with fantastic detail, and they complain loudly when its virtual reality does not live up to their standards. Why, then, do they intentionally ruin it for everyone around them with a stupid moniker that breaks that suspension of disbelief they just paid to support?
I’m hoping it’s just a case of people not knowing how to make an interesting name that matches their virtual realm. If that’s the case, I have some suggestions that will work for both medieval fantasy and science fiction games, online or off:
Change a letter. Start with your middle name, then swap a vowel or three. A double-swap on David yields Divad. Amanda, replace all the A’s and you’re Emendi. Still not hitting? Pick any letter in your name, look at your keyboard, and move one key to the left or right. Terry becomes Terru; Sarah is Satah.
Drop a letter. Daniel becomes Danil. Steve is now Stee. Taylor, meet Talor. Not enough? Use the above, then drop the last letter.
Anagram it. Rearrange the letters in “Dan Amrich” and you get…um, “rancid ham.” But you also get Archimand, which is my go-to name for any wizard I create. Try shuffling all the letters in your full name; if it’s not quite right, change or drop a letter as above.
Abbreviate it. Just as Jennifer Lopez is J-Lo, you can use the same first-letter-first-syllable trick, or the first two syllables. Dan Amrich becomes Danam; Robert Kotick becomes Arkot. Don’t like how your name works out? Try a teacher or a friend’s name instead, or swap in your mom’s maiden name for your last name.
Go international. Scandanavian and Gaelic names often put vowels and consonants where American gamers don’t expect to find them. As a result they can sound exotic if not downright alien. Not unusual enough? See the above steps.
Use a name generator. Available in sci-fi and fantasy flavors. Weapon of last resort, but better than HiredKiller, Spydormann, and WellHung.
Do your part. If you want to live in a fantasy world, at least show that world some respect. Because the rest of us are tired of seeing Laserguy and Hárrýpöttèr wherever we go.
UPDATE: Thanks to @AngeloAlcid for this Penny Arcade comic that totally validates my entire outlook!
